Has this ever happened to you?
Ok, so, I'm sitting in church and the pastor starts the sermon by telling everyone to turn in their Bible to a specific scripture. Yikes.
Response Scenario 1: I didn't bring my Bible. In fact, I'm not exactly sure where it is at home. Immediately I sense - accurately, no doubt -- that everyone else in the room has their Bible (complete with their name engraved on a leather cover and notes written in the margins!) except me. And this is because they are all way better Christians than I am. Clearly. OR....
Response Scenario 2: I actually have my Bible with me. BUT, I am not completely sure where "Ephesians" is. I've heard of it. It's in the New Testament, right? If it's in the Old Testament, I'm in serious trouble here. My mind races, my hands shake as I slip my fingers between the pages in a chill, I-do-this-every-day-no-big-deal style, living just one wrong page turn from being exposed to the entire congregation for the scriptural lightweight that I am! (Would it kill the pastor to give us a page number?) Anyway......
Yes, my friends, Bible envy is real, but so is the remedy. And I know what it is. Of course, in the meantime, I can always download the Bible on my iPhone and swipe like a pro at the scriptural get-go. But that kinda seems like cheating. Besides, I know I can't go for an hour and a half without checking Instagram - leave the phone in the car, Abby.